pierianspring: A photo of myself. (Default)
[personal profile] pierianspring
This life is so amazing, saying that I am lucky is such a monumental understatement. When a person's biggest problem in life is that they are hurting because they LOVE someone so much and can't be with them (though they will be someday), there's really nothing to complain about.

This is a world and a universe in which so many countless possibilities exist, and for a single human the possibility of even existing is so minute to be a practical impossibility, and then for that existence to actually be a mostly pleasant experience, is more than I can think about sometimes. To have food to eat, to not be brutally victimized physically or mentally, to not have grown up in a war zone or as a victim of molestation/rape. To have learned to read and write, a privilege that very few women before me ever had and many still don't. To have the immense fortune of growing up in a time in which science and technology have made so much progress. To have been born healthy and to have stayed healthy. To have the option to attend college, and to have a job that I choose based on my interests and abilities rather than necessity. To reject religion and not burn. To have all of my teeth. These are things that depending on time and location, you might not get them. They aren't a guarantee. This is my place in life, and I have so much to be thankful for but no one to be thankful to. It's all circumstance and random chance.
To BE thankful to anyone, be it a god or some super/natural intervention, is to claim that I am somehow favored over roughly 90%* of the rest of the world population by a deity, or perhaps the energy of the universe, or our alien overlords, etc. To be thankful is arrogance, because it means I'm somehow better or more special than all those people who were just born in the wrong time or place. It means there is some(thing/one) out there that decides that other people eat dirt cakes while I eat almost anything that I want. Whatever is out there that is making the decisions, is a fucking dick. I'd rather my universe be unintelligent and have everything be natural, coincidental, and indifferent...than be a total jerk who just happens to like me for some reason.
So basically, if I'm wrong about rejecting the supernatural, and there is a god, and this god sends me to hell, I'm fine with that. I'd rather follow my own principles and be damned for it, than to worship a god who is filled with hate and jealousy and has created hell-on-earth for billions of other humans in some sort of "test" for their loyalty to him (or if you are more "old testament", a punishment for something one human did eons ago, OR the work of a nemesis he can't control even though he is supposedly omnipotent...did I cover all the outs you have?). What kind of a god is that?
And to all the spiritual "woo" types who read The Secret and think their ideas are so much better: it's just a more ambiguous way of saying that people in bad circumstances somehow deserved what they got. That you are superior and the universe will grant you your desires because you play along and "believe" in it. It's the same shit with a different brand name.

In short, I know I'm unbelievably privileged. Many people think it is arrogant of me to not bow down to a god (particularly THEIR god) and be grateful for it. But I can't morally or intellectually, because I see the suffering around me now and what the past was like. I can't see myself as any better than other people in worse situations. So I can't thank any imaginary, all-powerful force that sees me that way.


*made up stat. Could be more or less, I don't really know. I'm just guessing.

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pierianspring: A photo of myself. (Default)
Amanda

January 2011

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